SuicidalSlinky.com
The rantings, ramblings, and writings of a lyrical muse.
Satan's Little Helper By Kenneth Paul Aug 17, 2006 -------------------------------------------- I came home to find the microwave flashing six six six. The fridge, toaster and oven all appeared worried. I think even the cutting board was afraid, it looked sick. There were streaks on the counter where bowls fled, hurried. My mind instantly went to work trying to understand... Is the appliance upset with last night's leftovers, or pledging allegiance to Satan's land? Perhaps it is simply jealous of the stove or finds it insulting that I chose to eat my soup cold? Pressing the CLEAR button just didn't work - I was shocked as soon as my fingers took hold and the thing went completely berzerk! Then the sink started screaming at no one in particular, the mortar and pestle began shouting obscenities, countertops went nuts on a level that was molecular! Even the freezer freaked out, except for the frozen peas! Am I being recruited to cook for the Beast? Is He vegetarian, carnivore or cannibal? Maybe I'm the centerpiece of a human feast? Does He know I'm not an animal??? The only thing I could think to do was pull the plug. The microwave did its best to distract me from my goal and I swear the damned thing even looked smug. In the blink of an eye I extinguished its' soul! But then the lights flickered and the air thickened, the fridge door opened and let out a groan, my head spun and my stomach sickened. A feeling overcame me and I realized I wasn't alone. The microwave hummed to illuminated life. There was a surge of power and the walls bulged. My mind was scattered as I reached for a knife, I was blinded completely as the demon effulged. Knocked to the ground by some unseen force I scampered away hoping to find refuge. Behind me I heard a whimper that sounded like remorse but I continued despite being shocked, blind, numb and confused. The next few hours I seem to have misplaced as I was sucked into a one-way portal to Hell. When I finally landed I looked around and my mind raced, because into the devils private kitchen I fell. Meal after meal for an entire eternity He forced me to boil, bake, cook and fry. But no matter what I produced no matter what the amenity, ice cream was the only thing to satisfy.